[	mood	|	Perfect timing.	]
[	music	|	Clarity by John Mayer	]

My friend; who wants to stay anonymous [ROFL], asked me to post this for him. He would greatly appreciate it if you guys left some kind of feedback or comment on his writing/POV. Please be brutally honest, it's for his own good. Thankies! And just because I want to, I'm gonna say POV means point of view. You guys didn't know that, huh? I am SO smart. :)

And just what is wrong with being single?

That’s just the question I find I am asking myself on this, the eve of my being part of that awful statistic once again. Why does the world frown upon being alone? Why do most of us clamor to be in a relationship we just as quickly find ourselves clamoring just as badly to get out of? Just what is wrong with being alone?

Single.

That word has come to mean so much to me in the past couple of years: Not being in a relationship. Not having that first person to text in the morning and that last person to say good night to before you go to sleep. Being totally and utterly alone, why do I find that thought so unbelievably scary?

Why do I find that thought to be so scary? Maybe it’s because (I’ll admit), that after bouncing around from one relationship to the next (girlfriends, MU’s, friends with benefits) since I hit puberty, I may have forgotten what it’s like to be alone. Through the years, I may have lost track of who I am supposed to be when I am all by myself. Just like how most of us look for noise when faced with deafening silence, I find that I, like most people, have gotten so used to the noise and distractions of being with someone that I am no longer comfortable with the peace and utter quiet of living my life for myself and for no one else.

It is kind of funny when you think about it. The mere fact that I am going to be single again brings one very startling fact to light: that all of the relationships I have ever had, up to and including this one, have been  failures. That: all of the people I had ever gone out with, had something special with or had fallen in love with had, for one reason or another, stopped going out with me, stopped being special or simply fallen out of love with me. What is wrong with me? Have I learned absolutely nothing about keeping a relationship alive even after all of these failed chances? Am I doomed to repeat this cycle and be alone for the rest of my life?

They say that those who do not learn from the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat it. I’d somehow like to believe that this holds true for relationships as well. That for all of the dumping, bad break-ups and heartaches I’ve been through, that I have in one way or another, learned how to be a better person, how not to treat other people or at the very least, how relationships aren’t supposed to be.

But is this all that there is to it? After all these years of being left behind, dumped and cheated on, is this all I have to show for it? An ever growing list of past mistakes and an uncanny knack for making new ones?

Let’s face it: lovers leave, couples break up and spouses die. It’s all but natural: nothing in this world, no matter how great and wonderful, lasts forever. That’s just the way it works. So what then, after all of this, are we left with? Regrets? Bitterness? Maybe even hate? I do hope not. How about memories, lessons and hope? Memories: not just of what went horribly wrong but more importantly of what was wonderfully right. Lessons about what we ought to have and should never have done: all the things that we should get right the next time. And finally, hope: hope that the next time will be even better and that maybe, just maybe, hope that we will all someday come to realize that relationships (and singleness for that matter) were never meant to be scrutinized, rationalized or fussed over; that precisely because they are fleeting, relationships are meant to be experienced, enjoyed and lived out to their full extent: without hesitation, second-thoughts or worries about the consequences of how stupid we would feel should it all end.

So to all of those who have ever questioned why they always seem to find themselves in a relationship that is failing or in no relationship at all, I ask you this in return: Don’t all relationships start with the basic assumption that it’s going to end anyway, and yet in spite of this, we all still choose to go through with it? Why can’t we all just take things as they are and live and fully enjoy the experience of being in a relationship, even the ones that are coming to their inevitable end? And if everyone viewed all of our relationships like this, would there really be anything wrong with being single?

--

For the record, I atleast shared a bit of my wisdom on this post. It can't be all about Mr. Anoniguy. Now everyone knows what POV stands for!

[	mood	|	It's just a coincidence.	]
[	music	|	A Body Goes Down by Duncan Sheik	]

I did get a few Valentine's Day items from the courier thing at school, plus Justin and my friends sent me a greeting when I woke up. [I got a lot of anonymous greetings, ugh] I guess Allan's right. It's become way too commercialized. Me not celebrating this year is a sign of protest. Yay me. I have an excuse- aside from distance that is. Oh and by the way, I love this picture. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy for whoever that yellow guy's girlfriend is. :)

Well, I spent the day with Jen. Her boyfriend didn't want to celebrate with the rest of the country [traffic and all], so they celebrated a day earlier. [but he kept txting and calling her while we were out anyway] It was sweet though. Rosh [the boyfriend] was clever enough to have her keys secretly duplicated. He placed post-its notes on her bedroom door and placed a bouquet of lilies on her table, a letter, and some other stuff. It was a nice surprise. Anyway, I just like them both as a couple. Plus on my birthday, they greeted me first, and Jen cooked spaghetti for me. That's a first. No one's ever cooked for me before. Such a shame it had to be a girl to do it. Haha. Anyway, Jen and I only attended one class, then we went off to her house. Zindy couldn't come because she's a good student, apparently. Jen and I have so much in common. Attitude-wise and relationship-wise. And we have so much fun together, even when she sleeps on me while I'm watching a freaky lesbo movie [D.E.B.S.] in her room. [okay I'll stop raving about it] After getting stuff from her house and sharing a few more "joys" of the past, we went out for lunch. We're both indecisive, so we had trouble choosing where to go. This is exactly what our boyfriends are for. In the end, we just went to a good resto with steak. I'm not a steak person, but we were really tired so we just winged it. We also had plans to have cake after, which I was really craving after being sick for 3 weeks. I mean, I couldn't even eat anything aside from soup on my birthday! So yeah, strawberry shortcake it is. After the eating and story-swapping, we went shopping for new tops and a gift. Unfortunately, we didn't like any. Stupid salesladies not respecting our personal space. Ugh. All in all, it was a fun day. Again, my friends never fail at Valentine's. Speaking of friends, I miss Francis and Diane. I last saw them a week ago. >< Okay I know, just a week, but still. Moving on, Rj asked me if I wanted to go out that night. Funny way of asking. "Date tayo?" Haha, whatever.

OT mode: Since I didn't post anything about my birthday, here goes. I had an advance celebration [sort of] with Justin on the 28th, a general party with another group of friends [too many to mention], a late one with Diane and Francis, and another one with Rj, Kit and Lera. Too bad I was sick then. Enough about that, I got Randy Valentine today. Yowza! ;]

Lastly, this is funny. Got the link from Marc. What is wrong with these kids?
http://4kids.tv/forum/showthread.php?t=146570&page=1&pp=8

I SEE SONIC EVERYWHERE. HE'S REAL I TELL YOU. REAL!

[	mood	|	Contemplative.	]
[	music	|	Carollers' Sucky Singing	]

My last Christmas was an eye-opener. This year, my eyes were opened again to some new [well-- not so new and unexpected] things. Haha. Merry Christmas everyone! The year's about to end, and I'm not going to let it end with me being down. Nosiree. I own. So that means, nobody [or in this case; nothing somebody did], will bring me down. Not even the fact that what JR and the others have been telling me for the longest time was actually true. I thought the idea was ludicrous. Things like that were simply not done. I guess I was still living in my own world. Imagine that! [ooh sarcasm] I guess I might as well join in on the fun. I can't have all the others playing around while I'm here sitting in my room, whining about it. Again I say, cheers to new beginnings and endings! I shall not waste another year. [insert british accent-- <3 Colin Firth] :)

Note to self:
Must stop whining on LJ or else people will think I'm never happy.
I guess when I'm happy, I don't really feel like I have time to write it down. It's only when I'm not busy that I remember to be sad. [that made sense!]

Brando gave me this: Click me! It's a nice article on ending things. Title: Closing Cycles. It kinda reminded me of what my ethics professor told me before. Professor Howard Go told me [or the whole class haha] that holding on to things just for the sake of holding on to your efforts over time, is just plain stupid. It wastes more time. Well maybe he didn't say it like that. His statement was nicer and I bet it made sense. Cheska's not making sense. Sorry people. ;)

[	mood	|	GODDAMNIT.	]
[	music	|	Mr. Brightside by The Killers	]

AGHHHHHHH, ARGHHHHHHH, AND MORE ASFLASJKFHLRJGHAG. OMFG. STUPID SCISSORS........... ARGHHHHH MY HAIR!!!
.........

I accidentally cut my hair, "The Devil Wears Prada" style. Now my face isn't a face anymore. It's a ball. A roundish pale one with eyes and a little stump that can hardly be called a nose. AFJSAGFKJASFASJF. WHAT WAS I THINKING AGAIN?!

I need a break. But looking like this, I don't even wanna go out during my break. Why now? Of all times, it had to be during the holidays. Family gatherings. Picture taking for holiday memories. Last year was bad enough when I turned up with curly hair. Ugh. ASLJFLASFJHASFKJ. There go my plans.

Now I have stupid half-inch bangs that aren't evenly cut. If I make them even, they'll be like a-quarter-of-an-inch short. JESUS CHRIST IN A CHICKEN BASKET THIS SUCKS. Yes, I used it. AGHHHHHH.

A ball thet grew a face. That's me. Yay me.

[	mood	|	Who knew?	]
[	music	|	Creep by Radiohead	]

This morning in class, I was sitting next to Jen. Sadly, I didn't get the seat I was aiming for. [darn!] Well anyway, I was doing this stupid flames thing on my notebook. I knew Jen was looking, so I didn't write down any names. I just did them on my mind, and wrote the numbers down. As I was computing for the compatibility thing, she suddenly figured it out and half-shouted what I was doing to the whole class.  Well, I just admitted what I was doing but I didn't tell her anything else. After that it was hard to concentrate again. The "Smell of Heaven" was blowing in my face. The blue eyes make up for it I guess. Haha. Jen wouldn't sit next to him. She's mean, I know. <3 Jen! When will I be writing the updates and insightful stuff? When I feel like it. No hurry.

Oh and I finally tried to attend all my classes. ALL of them. Not missing any. For the first time this term. I have 1/4 of my groove back, I think.

To explain the title of my post, clck the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVOFmu2ZIqI
Mark Day is actually nice. [love his accent] He was talking to me on MySpace, and he said I'd own a number of cats in 10 years. All thanks to Edward! I see cats in all your futures, people. Yes, lotsa futures-- err cats.

And look at the picture below please. :)

[	mood	|	Accomplished.	]
[	music	|	Don't Go Away by Oasis	]

This video is the best! Watch it please. The dancing is great and the poses are oddly amusing. Take the time, it's worth it. I saw them on "The Man Show" last. They all had beer bellies then. Tsk, when people grow old.. :)

[	mood	|	Civil enough.	]
[	music	|	The screaming Lord. Go figure.	]

I didn't edit anything here, for authenticity. Even the grammar.

A recent conversation I had with somebody who pmed me out of the blue:

jaimie wrote: umm do you know someone named kristine puno?
Cheska wrote: i'm not really good with names. why? who's she?
jaimie wrote: apparently she's been copying stuff from your profile! augh! i just can't stand her doing it to other people too!
Cheska wrote: that's kind of annoying, i just saw her page.
jaimie wrote: annoying is an understatement! she's my ex's cousin! we started being friends and one day i checked out her profile and then bam! she copied mine too! Gawd i even confronted her about it and she just denied it.. then we became friends again.. but she started asking me stuff and then used it as her own! she even copies my expressions and the way i talk! so we decided to see where the heck she gets her things now that we're not friends anymore! we typed it on google, then your live journal appeared.. seems like she also gets stuff there!
Cheska wrote: seriously? even my lj? wow... poser much. can i do anything about it?
jaimie wrote: i know i may seem mean and bitchy about this.. like making sumbong and coming up to you like this but honestly i really really hate her and ive been waiting for this moment! a moment wherein everything will just slap her right on the face.. just because our situation is kinda different.. she just copied the way i put stuff on my profile.. so she can deny it all the way.. but in your situation.. she really is plagiarizing stuff. so i guess if you confront her.. she won't have an excuse! this time.. its really really evident. i mean exact words and even the whole phrase of something!! btw, im the one who's adding you at ym hehe.. oh i wish im not freaking you out!

Here are the links:
http://www.friendster.com/kristinepuno
http://cootchicoo16.multiply.com
ym: kristine_chinmey

Anyway, I messaged the girl on ym and told her to remove my posts from her blog or atleast stop saying she wrote them. She replied saying she thought I didn't write those and that she was merely quoting. I thought that quoting meant you'd have to say where you got the item itself. Well she removed my posts from her multiply profile and blog, but she didn't remove parts of my profile from her friendster account. Ugh. Even the small things I wrote to describe myself. Even testimonials on my profile- which are definitely NOT quote material. Exactly the way it was written. And my strawberry-banana combo! Oh well. Stealing intellectual property is just as bad as stealing tangible property. Apparently, she does that a lot. If it weren't so annoying, I'd find it funny that people actually drag me into their fights. For the record, people have asked to use my posts before, and I've always said yes. [as long as they link back to me or acknowledge me]

On the other hand, [annoying as it may be] it's kind of a compliment that my writing is good enough to be stolen. But by people who say "uu" -- please. No smileys today. Ugh. But come on, isn't it believable that I write everything here? I know it's not much, but my rants and ramblings are my own! Seriously.

Oh wait, happy birthday to Winiac and Jem. Thanks for dinner and the Mango Bravo thing! Yummy. We had dinner at the Tree House in Kalayaan with Ebbey, Mico, Justin, Mycko, Robie, Mike, Allan, and the other people. Sorry, I don't know all your names. Haha.

Super OT:
The song "Define" by Hilera is so annoying. They may be nice people, but the song- ugh.

[	mood	|	Egad. Forced.	]
[	music	|	Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt	]

I hate it when people eat like there's no tomorrow. Come on, it's dead. It's not going anywhere soon. Take your time, please. The sound of chewing, chomping, mouth open.. Earrgh! It's not like you were starved for months! Okay sure, you're famished-- that's alright. But all the time? Get real. Table manners! It's not just for show. You do it when you're at home or with your close friends, too. I mean, I know friends won't judge you-- I won't judge you. If I see you scarfing down your food, I'd even be generous. "Would you like to eat my plate as well?" Still, it's annoying and somewhat disgusting at times. [it's also unhealthy, and it reflects poorly on your parents/upbringing] Especially if you really are aware of it but you just think people close to you won't mind. Spare me the barf bag. -_-

Table manners = not selective. BASIC COURTESY. It's either you have it or you don't!

And what the hell am I listening to? It's like somebody being drowned or strangled, or both. 

Are these hints? No, too obvious. Or maybe, because it's too obvious-- people are bound to overlook it. Therefore, making everything go as I planned it. What plan? Or since I'm saying this now, I'm just making it look like a joke, to lead people on. Okay, these ARE hints. I'm telling you all the truth. Wait. Now, why would I? Say what?

Sorry, I just went scooby-doo on all your asses. Haha. :) [there's the laugh, finally!]

Jenkies, a clue! Awesome.

A clue! A clue! 

That's Blue and too-gay Steve. [may he rest in peace] Joe is better though, and he has more clothes. [not just that one ugly green shirt] Hahaha. *knocks on wood*

Okay, enough nonsense. Oh and yeah, I sometimes watch ze kiddie shows. [don't ask why. infact, never ask why.] Except Dora the Explorer-- she's annoyingly bossy. And I can't believe her fag of a cousin has his own show now. Go Diego? Eek. [oh gosh darn it. I'm such a meanie. :(]

Lastly, I was sent to the hospital after collapsing in school. Yay. Acute gastritis, vomiting secondary with nonspecific abdominal colic. I probably should stop, rest, and eat properly once in awhile in my busy schedule. ;)

[	mood	|	Creepy is as creepy does.	]
[	music	|	Life Wasted by Pearl Jam	]

I rarely have time to write anything anymore. :/

July 23 - My Dad's 50th birthday, and Powder's 11th Death Anniversary.

Anyway, as for updates-- there has been a lot of things happening to me, but nothing really noteworthy. Mostly, I just make a list of things I'd like to remember on my phone; which is the easiest and quickest thing for me to do right now. [considering the fact that I barely have time to eat much less sit infront of my pc to update] 

Prepare to hurt your eyes with the redness. I think this was 3 weeks ago:

OMG. This is exactly why I dread having my parents over for more than their usual weekends. They get so restless and suddenly they feel the need to do the house a very big favor by doing unnecessary cleaning. Disposing of old useless things-- according to them. [oh well. parents' judgement to be trusted] But seriously, I found my classics in a box to be given away! I don't care if they're old, I don't care if they're for kids. It's my book collection! I don't know if it's my OC kicking in or my absolute control freak thing, but I really don't want anything happening in this house without being a part of it or atleast knowing every detail of the procedure. That way, I know where everything goes. I'm almost always afraid to go on vacation. If only I could bring my house with me. [MY HOUSE!!] Wow, come to think of it, I've always been like this. [flashback of a 5-year old just staring at her tea set; not really playing with it, just admiring how properly she set it all up] Haha. In my household, I am omniscient. omnipotent, and omnipresent. I pity whoever has to live with me in years to come. [especially if they have that nasty habit of moving things around- a lot] Just the thought of it stresses me out.  Oh well. They'll still have the perks of choosing and matching colors in every room with me. Yay! :)

Good thing though, Kyan Douglas! He was here only for a bit. [he's that should-be-straight guy on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy] He should thank God people know he's gay. Ninja. It spares him the trouble of having the awkward girls-throwing-themselves-at-him scenario. Well anyway, as of now my days are spent doing reports, poring over my histology books, and who can forget the undying world of world literature? Oh and swimming! So whenever I get home around 9pm or so, it's automatic sleep. Deep, deep slumber.  Or not. Sometimes I force myself to sit for awhile to read more or just listen to stuff, to empty my head of medical info. I found a new appreciation for music because of that.  I actually go out of my way now, to get cds. I used to just rely on people giving me stuff to listen to. [though people still do that and it still hasn't lost its luster, haha] 

Speaking of routines, I don't really have routine buddies. I have a routine and they just happen to be in it. My nights at school are suddenly bearable. Thank God. And for the umpteenth time, I am not, and I repeat, NOT KOREAN. I don't sound Korean.  My name doesn't even sound Korean. I understand what you people are saying, and believe me, you're just embarrassing yourselves. And no, I really am not interested.  Well then, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

I haven't had the heart to write anything good recently. *sigh* Creativity bite me in the ass please. By the way, thanks to Mr. AJ Rivera from UP for the help on my La Vité Bella paper. And Justin for my Gabriel Marcel research, summarized and everything. Stress -1. JR for walking me to the parking lot everynight with an umbrella. And to my faithful seatmate Honey who goes to school an hour and a half early just to fill me in on what I've missed and what I've been too busy [or lazy, who knows] to do. And the Royal Chansey for my compilation! I can't remember the others, sorry. Haha. It rocks to be a [no, not a girl] nice, amicable/amiable person. Haha. Seriously though, it pays to go the extra mile. Or whatever. Ugh. To my friends I kinda neglect at times, I'm sorry. It's just the stress and everything. Busy, busy. And my mentor just gave me 2 new books! On uhh lighting my path or something. It's helpful. I'm almost psyched for the year to come. Atleast my little nightmare is gone. A kid assuming the boyfriend position after just 3 days? Wtf. He doesn't even know my name. Talk about post-adolescent whims. "Oooh I'm in college, I think I'll go for a girl 5 batches higher than me and make her feel awkward till she tells me off blatantly." Anyway, I think I sort of found more ways to live. Actually live, like I used to. And recently, people just go out of their way to ask me questions. [those that trigger the know-it-all in me] Now I know what it felt like for Marc- me and my incessant questioning. Atleast I wasn't THAT annoying. Oh and I did 140 girly push-ups and the whole fitness test thing. My stamina and endurance are apparently at a high level. If only I didn't have the lazy in me. Oh well. I haven't been sleeping well either. [even though I'm dead tired] Nightmares and muscle strain. Totally unrelated, but hey- they both happen at night. Haha this suddenly reminded me of all the sexual innuendo Rocky and JR throw at me everyday. Honey and untouchable hair. Powder and lipgloss. STOP CALLING ME TANYA! Haha. Omg this is getting long. TTFN! Tigger taught me that. [yes, we're close buds] Whoever can tell me what that acronym stands for, wins a prize! Oh and Justin gave me "yumyum" crackers. Cute and thoughtful item, haha.

Lastly, I have this newfound respect for some HRM people. Thanks to Lera Arroyo and Stefanie What's-her-surname. They've been really nice and everything and I'm invited to one of their gig things in Bora this October or November. And apparently, I'm a soprano. [I'm in the drama guild thing] Goody. I found a lot of new things.

---I inserted a totally unrelated word somewhere in this post. Whoever finds it the first time around must've read this whole thing religiously. Tell me the answer, you get a prize. No reading the comments for answers please. So, that's 2 things to be answered; TTFN and the magic word. I'm so tired. *WHIMPERWHINEGRIPEMOAN*

Move over Megatron, the Hubstertron will smite you. OH AND JACK SPARROW DIES. Savvy? :)

[	mood	|	I'm finding my happy place. :D	]
[	music	|	Escape [The Piña Colada Song] by Rupert Holmes	]

This morning I was really, really bored. I looked up and saw my chickie bank [a chicken version of a piggy bank]. I've had that chickie bank since January 2005. It was a birthday gift. I never really got to use it since the lock won't work. They key won't turn or something. So, I kinda figured, "Hey I'm bored and all, why don't I give it another try?" I took it out of its box and jammed the key in. I just kept pushing and turning it while I was watching TV. After awhile it kinda just opened. OMG. It made my day. I can finally use my chickie bank! Then I kinda remembered that I'm really not one to save money. Eep. Oh well. It still looks nice on my table. :)

I had to memorize the preamble thing. Egad. And the noisy basketball fans were driving me crazy. Facial expressions from hell. Good thing I had another thing to laugh about. HARD GAY. That guy is hilarious. To find out what I'm talking about, check him out.

Lastly, I saw 2 disturbing commercials awhile ago. The first one being the ad for Solmux. The man was telling the little boy that it's better to drink Solmux than to have a Gorilla slap his back to get the phlegm out. Okay. That's..... . The other one's for Head and Shoulders. The "Uy, ay." girl. "Uy ang ganda siya, ay hindi pala." Just because of dandruff. Wtf? Our world is so shallow.

And for the love of God, somebody kill the guy who keeps on whistling during my library time!

[	mood	|	Nonchalant.	]
[	music	|	Sick Cycle Carousel by LifeHouse	]

Now that I'm in the throes of adulthood, I've come to some realizations. I've written 10 of them here. This list may shed [some] light on a few things that may confuse the common uhh youngling. It might seem trivial to some, but [for the nth time] this is my journal. I can post anything I want, haha. I have that kind of power here. Brace yourselves. :) 

10 Things My Parents and School Never Taught Me, But I Still Learned Anyway, 
Since I Can Never Be Cheated Out of a Good Rambling. [How's that for a title?] 

1. Artists are all the rage these days.

2. No one likes a person with values and principles. 
1st corollary: Thinking sensibly makes you a killjoy, therefore uncool.
2nd corollary: Cheating isn't wrong. It makes you one with the group when it's academic cheating. Relationship-wise, it just proves how manly a guy is. The road to popularity! *Same effect for being an ass. 

3. Street talk is in. 
1st corollary: If your vocabulary is an extensive tome of obscenities, you're good. 
2nd corollary: The number of curses said in one sentence is directly proportional to the relevance of the statement. The more vulgarities, the deeper and meaningful it is. 

4. The people on the road to bumsville are da bomb. 

5. Beauty over character. 
1st corollary: The trashier, the better. 
2nd corollary: Sugar, spice, and everything nice? Hell no! Whorish, bitchy, and wild. Those 3 are the key ingredients for the perfect girl. 

6. Music know-how makes you the smartest, hippest cattle in the herd. Welcome to Cooldom! 

7. Drinking and smoking excessively makes you cool. 
1st corollary: Add drugs and you become the epitome of coolness. 

8. The number of people looking at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. 

9. No one is sincerely nice. If a person seems good, he/she must have a hidden agenda. [eg. your house, family, and omg your money!] 

10. Exaggerated family problems, or just made-up problems make for the best attention-grabbing, girlfriend winning scheme. Emo is in. Lies are believable that way. F*cked up people = cool.

---

There. I should've entitled this "The bitterness of an outsider in cool world." instead. Haha, I want banana chips. :Q

[	mood	|	It's the up and the down.	]
[	music	|	Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve	]

Leave a sign if you still care.

..I wish.